Ambien. No doubt about it.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
