You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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