If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
