"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I think weed is turning my hair brown
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
