Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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