please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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