He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
