bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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