You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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