you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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