I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
