is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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