I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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