i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
