it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Randomize
