I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
