Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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