Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
