I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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