I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
