He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
