I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
