she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
