I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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