i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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