It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
