Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
