Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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