hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Everything about him screamed your future.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Randomize
