So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
