I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
