I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
