sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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