I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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