What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
