WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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