is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
