Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
