What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
