i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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