My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
