At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
