She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
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