epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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