I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
