haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
