I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I deserve this hangover.
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