i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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