You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
