Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
