ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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