He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I just forgot I was standing up.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
