respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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